I’m sure this has happened to all of you. You post an ad online because unemployment says you have to start looking for a job, and you’re surprised when a bunch of people respond. One of them really gets your attention because he’s doing something very similar to what you want to do, so you talk, you click, and he offers you a job and use of his farm in Texas. So you book a trip to go see the property and finalize the deal, but he immediately withdraws the offer because of a misunderstanding, which you clear up, and then he seems to get very excited again about hiring you. So you have your elderly mother and your even more elderly stepfather come to town to take care of your animals for you while you’re on your trip. This costs a few thousand dollars because you don’t have a decent place for them to stay and it’s peak tourist season, but it’s worth it for this opportunity. So they arrive and they take you to the airport, but you miss your flight because a bridge is closed, adding an hour to your drive. You rebook and it costs you four times as much. Shit.

You get to Texas, you meet the guy, you get along, and he offers you $50,000 a year to manage his business and run his farm. So of course you take it, and you start making plans to move. He’s in touch in the meantime. You book another trip for your mom to come take care of the animals again while you go back to Texas to build pens for them. You book her a nice place to stay, but the next morning your new boss withdraws the job, stating that he can’t afford what he’s offered you and he has a bunch of other concerns, most of which you could allay, but this has happened twice now, and there’s not going to be a third time. Thankfully you’re still within Airbnb’s 24-hour cancelation window, and you can still cancel the plane tickets, too, so you’re not losing another $1200. You’ve only told a few people about the job, so you don’t look like too much of an asshole, but there’s still a tinge of humiliation. The much stronger feeling, though, is that no one can be relied upon, with the sole exception of your 72-year-old mother. You don’t feel so much embarrassed or betrayed as you do isolated. If you’re going to make this move, you’re going to have to find a way to do it without any help, except maybe from your mom. We’ve all been there, right?

The guy who offered me this job is not a bad guy. I liked him and I liked his wife and his kids, and I liked what he had planned for his property. One thing that frustrates me is that some of the concerns he cited when he withdrew the job were not things I had even asked for — they were things he offered me, and in every instance I had suggested a cheaper alternative that I would actually have preferred. Well, cheaper except for the $50,000 a year — I didn’t ask for that either, but once it was offered I wasn’t about to try to talk him down.

I had my own share of concerns — this was going to be a good job, but there were plenty of less-than-ideal circumstances that came with it. It was always going to be a stepping stone, but I made that clear from day one. I think ultimately that may have been the problem — I have my own ambitions. Maybe you can’t have two visionaries on the same project, though I’ve always been able to take a supporting role when it’s appropriate, as it would have been in this case.

I just had the rug pulled out from under me not even two hours ago, so this is still fresh, but here’s what I’m thinking and feeling in this moment:

First, I’m anxious to do something — anything. I’m wound up, fidgeting, mind awhirl. I’m back in puzzle-solving mode.

Second, I’m not going to entertain this kind of offer from anyone else — I do have a number of similar offers lined up, but I see no reason why they should end any differently than this one. What I’ve realized from this experience is that it makes me too vulnerable.

Third, I think my days of being in supporting roles are over. I need to pursue my own vision.

Finally, this drives home for me the need for a different way of doing things when it comes to how we obtain, hold, and profit from real estate. The current system, which is basically ‘have money already’, isn’t a very good fit for me, or for many millions of other people, and it becomes increasingly untenable as the rich get ever-richer and the rest of us sink ever-deeper into the mire they create for us with all their shit.

I said a few entries ago that I had cracked it. I have. I will start working on getting the details of my vision — which is not uniquely mine, by the way — published, but in the meantime, if you want a taste, look into real estate purchasers co-ops. I believe we can pool the borrowing power of a large number of buyers to drive down costs and overcome other obstacles to real estate ownership, and there is already a system in place to do it. More to come.